Thursday, 31 July 2008
Wednesday, 30 July 2008
Tuesday, 29 July 2008
- THE DL HOMOPHOBE – He can spot any gay guy anywhere at anytime. He always has something negative to say to or about the gay guy, but in reality he just wants the gay boy’s attention. Homophobes are usually attracted to masculine gay men as the feminine ones will blow their cover. Also Statistics show that the HOMOPHOBES are the messiest of them all.
- THE AVERAGE STR8 GUY - This is the most difficult type to detect. He’s the typical straight guy, he loves sports, he adores cars, and he can fix almost everything….nothing out of the ordinary till you walk in on him doing something with a dude. We call these men TRADES. You had no clue they were gay…and chances are they can teach the OPENLY gay guys a few tricks.
- THE SUPER DL NINJA – This is the guy who is TERRIFIED of people having the slightest clue he is gay. He will surf gay chat lines and send people to a dozen different websites until he finally reveals himself. The kind of guy that meets you on the docks at night…you sleep with him…and if you see him in public again he will DENY your existence.
- THE DL COUPLE – Now this is the most prevalent type of gay guys on campus. Two guys that always hang out together, they maybe work out buddies, members of the same fraternity, same sports team or school organization…Chances are if you see one the other is close behind and if you see one alone…he’s on his way to the other. THEY ARE A COUPLE. No straight guy will spent 90% of his day with another guy unless they are in Iraq and that’s a whole other story.
- MR DON’T ASK DON’T TELL – IF YOU AINT ASKING HE AINT TELLING…SHIT EVEN IF YOU ASK HE AINT TELLING. This is the guy in class you always suspected but never had any concrete proof to nail him. Unfortunately for you that you cant nail him….but every other dude on campus is…
- THE AVERAGE GAY GUY – He is professional, a great friend, an honor student, your RA, that guy that’s in the ROTC. He is awesome everyone on campus knows him all the girls have a crush on him…you invite him out one night and he comes with a dude he introduces as his BOYFRIEND…yes your honor student is in a relationship with a man and as popular as he is he managed to keep his personal life out of the spotlight. This is what most gay people should aspire to be like.
- THE PRETTY BOI – This is the guy that looks better than 50% of the girls on campus. He wears designer clothes, has a body to die for...usually light skinned or Hispanic, hair you wish you had has the accessories of a typical pretty boi (contacts, earrings, photo shopped). You can find them prancing around your local mall or around town. They are usually conceited and not very nice.
- THE TRENDSETTER – They are the Social Mecca of fashion and social rituals. They start the latest trends, know the latest songs and the matching dances, know your business before you do, and pretty much puts you out there.
- THE HALF AND HALF – Have you ever seen a guy with tight jeans, a purse and couldn’t be more feminine and you wonder…. Why doesn’t he be a transsexual and get over with it. He wears girl jeans, a tank top, makeup and a purse big enough to fit a piano. They are usually bitter because nobody wants to bee seen with them…unless they are HALF AND HALF TOO.
- THE OBNOXIOUS QUEEN - He greets you with a HEEEEEEEEEEEEEY GIIIIIRRRL!!! He refers to people as MISS THANG, he is the loudest motherfucker you have ever met, flirts with anything that breathes and is a club addict. Ladies and Gentlemen…this is THE POSTERCHILD FOR GAY. You can spot him on the map, his sexuality is as big as Texas and he doesn’t care who knows. Infact he wants you to know so he can have you next… RUN CHILD RUN…
Monday, 28 July 2008
GAY-4-PAY is a insinuative term used more commonly with male actors, pornographic stars, or sex workers that identify as heterosexual but are paid to act or perform gay professionally. The stigma of being gay OR labeled as such has steadily eroded since the Stonewall riots began the modern gay rights movement in 1969. Mainstream movie and television actors have been more willing to portray homosexuality, as the threat of any backlash against their careers has lessened and society's acceptance of gay and lesbian people has increased.
But the term GAY-4-PAY I feel is more acceptable with mainstream actors RATHER than porn actors. I say this because society defines people by their sexual orientation. Through this process it is deduce that if the same gender engages in sexual acts with each other they are in fact HOMOSEXUAL. Therefore I ask the question CAN A MAN TRULY BE HETEROSEXUAL & HAVE SEX WITH ANOTHER MERELY FOR THE MONEY?
I am of the thinking that if he is GAY-4-PAYthen why not just have a movie that showcases that? But what do I know? It is SO obvious that the money is a means to an end. That end, which is supposed to be liberating and satisfying, cannot be so, for it has no place for mutual respect AND honor for those that are NOT-GAY-4-PAY! The self-gratification principle in money as in all other material quests is as doomed as it is addictive and destructive, requiring increasing extravagance in the wake of its failure. SO, I ASK IS IT WORTH IT?
Pornography is seen as one of the societal decays in f this world; and why a HETERO man would subject himself to SEXUAL energy of another man is something that puzzles me? Thrilled as society is, in a tangled web of self-gratification and psychological and biological pointlessness, it is scarcely surprising that there are men that would GO GAY FOR THE ALMIGHTY DOLLAR. I guess the GLORIFICATION of the idealized masculine/male icon is MORE important than exploiting the years of sexual movement.
THE THUG, BIKER, POLICE & COWBOY ARE JUST SOME OF THE FEW ROLES THAT THESE MEN PORTRAY. BONDAGE, WATERSPORTS, FISTING, RAPE, PRISON SEX ARE PRESENTED AS EROTIC ONLY TO STIMULATE YOU FOR THE PLEASURE OF THE MIGHTY DOLLAR. The reality of this trend should @ minimum, indicate that the industry is only perpetuating the DL men to stay in the closet because it seems that they can move from HETEROSEXUALITY to HOMOSEXUALITY with little ease AND WITH NO CONSEQUENCES…
There are few among us that are susceptible to the effects of past emotional, physical AND sexual abuse, that it is NO surprise that they think they are just GAY-4-PAY. While it is easy to articulate a liberation theory that overlooks OR ignores the reality of what is really going on; the DEGRADATION AND DEHUMANIZATION are NOT changed OR altered for the rest of us that are JUST GAY…In the long run, I guess being GAY-4-PAY is NOT mimicking the SEXUAL behavior of a GAY man because he would have to be GAY to have GAY sex…right? I mean if this GAY-4-PAY theory carries any REAL weight that means that we GAY men that are not doing porn should get paid so we can pass for the men they feel we must be?
BUT CAN SOMEONE TELL ME, WHY GO GAY-4-PAY WHEN GAY PORNOGRAPHY COMPRISES A DISPROPORTIONATELY LARGE PART OF THE PORNOGRAPHY INDUSTRY? IT HAS ATTRACTED MUCH LESS ATTENTION FROM THE ANTI-PORNOGRAPHY MOVEMENT THAT IT’S STRAIGHT COUNTERPART…SO WHEN I TRY TO ADD UP THE MATH, I GET A HEADACHE BECAUSE GAY-4-PAY = NO HOMOPHOBIA. THESE “ACTORS” SERVES AS ANOTHER HOMOPHOBIC SOURCE WITH WHICH TO SILENCE GAY MEN & REINFORCE AN ALREADY DEEPLY ENTRENCHED SYSTEM OF SEX DISCRIMINATION & SOCIAL INEQUALITY. IF A MAN CAN SELL HIS SEXUALITY IN SUCH A MANNER IS IT WORTH THE MORAL SCARRING? MOREOVER, HOW CAN HE STEP BACK INTO SOCIETY LIKE HE ISN’T JUST AS GAY AS THE REST OF US? HENCE ALL THE MONEY, SEX & GOOD TIMES IN THE END AMOUNTS TO HIM BEING MAN BECAUSE HE CAN GET OUR PLEASURE BUT NONE OF OUR PAINS?
THE “HETERO” MALE CONFUSES ME IN THIS SITUATION BECAUSE HE LIVES WITH THE FEAR OF HOMOSEXUALITY JUST LIKE THE REST OF US, SO WHY PUT OUT THERE FOR THE WORLD TO SEE IT? HE KNOWS HATE & WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A VICTIM OF SEXUALITY, SO WHY DO IT & EASE YOUR SOUL WITH SOME PAPER THAT HAS SOME NUMBERS ON THEM?
I CONSIDER GAY PORNOGRAPHY TO BE AN ISSUE OF POWER, A SOURCE OF SOCIAL INEQUALITY…INCLUDING MY OWN. HENCE I GET THAT PORN IS THERAPEUTIC IN ITS OWN WAY, BUT WHEN MEN SAY THEY ARE GAY-4-PAY, THEY PRESENT US WITH THIS DEMONIC KIND OF KINDERGARTEN WHERE THE IMMATURE CAN ACT OUT APART OF HIMSELF WITHOUT CONSEQUENCE LEAVING ME & YOU WITH THE NOTION THAT WE ARE GAY FOR NO REASON @ ALL…IF A “MAN” CAN DO IT, GET PAID & WALK AWAY WHY ARE WE STUCK HERE? MAKES ONE WONDER IF HE IS REALLY GAY-4-PAY OR JUST GAY & GETTING PAID?
Sunday, 27 July 2008
REMEMBER THE 7 UPS...
- WAKE UP…DECIDE TO HAVE A GOOD DAY.
- DRESS UP…THE BEST WAY TO DRESS UP IS TO PUT ON A SMILE; A SMILE IS AN INEXPENSIVE WAY TO IMPROVE YOUR LOOKS.
- SHUT UP… SAY NICE THINGS & LEARN TO LISTEN.
- STAND UP… FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN; STAND FOR SOMETHING OR YOU WILL FALL FOR ANYTHING.
- LOOK UP… GOD IS WATCHING.
- REACH UP…FOR SOMETHING HIGHER
- LIFT UP…YOUR PRAYERS
Saturday, 26 July 2008
"LOVE SHOULDA BROUGHT YOU HOME" is the first solo single from Toni Braxton. The song written by Babyface, Daryl Simmons, and Bo Watson, and was featured on the Boomerang soundtrack. It was submitted to Anita Baker but due to her impending pregnancy, she had to decline. The single became a top forty hit on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100 and her second consecutive top five hit on the U.S. Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Singles & Tracks. The music video showed an angry Braxton—alternating between a long sweater (as a dress) and a suit complete with tie. She is fed up with her boyfriend and testifies that if he really cared, then love should have brought him home last night. This song TOTALLY captures me and made me a fan for LIFE!
Friday, 25 July 2008
Written on the mirror of the mind
The reflections of he
Riding an invisible horse
Into the sun
Because you are too caught up
Living as if you are meant to be alone…
How about evolving and going to the next level?
Rather than complaining
That there are NO good men out there
You know that you cannot get
That which don’t manifest
So why walk through life with a closed mind?
You are just holding yourself back
For you refuse to show up
And engage in creating he that is meant to be
How do you hope be TRULY happy?
Don’t you want to participate in your life?
Don’t you want to achieve that which your soul really wants?
Take this stab @ LOVE,
For it is yours
And not the reflection of someone else’s
There is NOTHING better in the world
Than the feeling of manifesting the man for you
So refuse to remain stagnant
Remove all of the self devised obstacles
That are created in the mind
These mind castles only bring negative energy
And it is time that you
Step into the life that was meant for you
It is time to walk through LOVE with knowledge
And the desire to share our lives with that special man…
So manifest him
Thursday, 24 July 2008
Wednesday, 23 July 2008
Tuesday, 22 July 2008
Monday, 21 July 2008
Sunday, 20 July 2008
Saturday, 19 July 2008
Friday, 18 July 2008
Thursday, 17 July 2008
Wednesday, 16 July 2008
- ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY THAT CELEBRATES MEN LIKE?
- ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY THAT EMPOWERS ME?
- ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY THAT SETS THE FOUNDATION FOR GOOD THINGS TO COME?
- ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY THAT AIDS IN MY GROWTH & SHOWS ME WHAT IT IS TO BE A GAY MAN?
- ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY WHEN WE GET KICKED OUT OF FAMILY HOME BECAUSE OF OUR SEXUALITY?
- ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY WHEN THE DOCTOR ADVISES ONE OF US THAT WERE HIV+?
- ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY THAT MAKES SURE THAT NOT ONE OF US GOES TO BED HUNGRY?
- ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY IN UPLIFTING EACH & EVERY ONE TO BETTER THEMSELVES?
- ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY IN ENSURING THAT OUR RIGHTS ARE SECURED & PROTECTED?
- ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY THAT LETS US KNOW THAT WE HAVE MORE TO OFFER THAN A D!CK OR ASS?
- ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY THAT TEACHES US HOW TO CO-EXIST IN A WORLD WHERE WE ALL HAVE OUR OWN SET OF VALUES?
- ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY TELLS US THAT THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THE WAY WE ARE?
- ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY THAT TEACHES US TO VALUE OTHERS?
- ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY THAT TELLS THAT BEING FABULOUS DOES NOT MATTER IF YOU NO SUBSTANCE?
- ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY THAT IS ALL ABOUT LOYALTY?
- ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY THAT IS ALL ABOUT RESPONSIBILITY?
- ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY THAT IS ALL ABOUT TRUST?
- ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY THAT IS ALL ABOUT FAMILY?
- ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY THAT KNOWS THAT FRIENSHIP IS VITALLY IMPORTANT?
- ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY THAT KNOWS THAT RELATIONSHIPS ARE VITAL FOR OUR SURVIVAL?
- ¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY THAT REALLY, REALLY, REALLY BELIEVES IN GOD?
YES, WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY? CALL ME A CRAZY DREAMER, BUT MY COMMUNITY IS RIGHT HERE. IT IS IN, OUT & AROUND ME…JUST BARELY OUT OF REACH…WE JUST NEED TO COME TOGETHER & BE THE COMMUNITY THAT CARES ABOUT EVERY SINGLE ELEMENT ON THIS PLANET…I KNOW WE CAN DO IT; I KNOW IT CAN HAPPEN…¿WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY?
Tuesday, 15 July 2008
Monday, 14 July 2008
Isn’t it time that you prioritize over smokescreens? I mean excuses may seem like rational reasons for us not to do something, but if we're not careful we can allow them to keep us from reaching ourselves. Too often we accept our excuses as reasons why life is the way it is; but if we are honest with ourselves AND take charge of OUR lives, we will begin to notice that we will be better for it. It is my thought that when we keep our minds focused on ourselves we will find what we need to be who we are meant to be. Our energy is diverted and we need to find ways to get it back…
- DEAR ME…Write a love letter to yourself. In the letter describe what you really like about you, and what you'd like to improve about yourself. Keep it in a special place you can refer to when needed.
- SCHEDULING TIME…Make appointments with yourself to do artistic or spiritually uplifting activities. Consider doing things like a taking a tour through an art museum, or taking a walk in a secluded area. This can enlighten you as you learn a few things about yourself
- THE FINER THINGS IN LIFE…Enjoy the finer things in life! Eat on your GOOD dishes. Enjoy a candlelit meal. Listen to a favorite CD over champagne. Wear your favorite clothes. Treat yourself to unexpected present.
- FREEDOM OF YOURSELF…Give yourself freedom to make mistakes. Instead of questioning why you are doing, or may have done, something, just accept that you did it. Know inside that you'll handle it when you're ready to, and that it is okay to do just that.
- FORGIVENESS…Forgive yourself for something in your past. Write a letter of apology that includes everything you might have done. Seal it in an envelope, and keep it somewhere private.
- DAY-BY-DAY…Live life day-by-day. Try not to worry about what will, or will not happen in the future. Or, what may, or may not have happened in your past. All things are created in the present. Remember, your future and your past are created by what you are doing right now this very moment.
- STOP ALL CRITICISM…Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive. So praise yourself it builds up spirit.
- DON’T SCARE YOURSELF…Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It's a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.
- BE KIND TO YOUR MIND…Self-hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don't hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change the thoughts.
- SUPPORT YOURSELF…Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends, and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.
- TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY…Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise can you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.
- MIRROR WORK…Look into your own eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents looking into the mirror. Forgive them, too. At least once a day, say: "I love you, I really love you!"
- LOVE YOURSELF - DO IT NOW! Don't wait until you get well or lose the weight, or get the new job, or find the new relationship. Begin NOW - do the best you can.
EACH STAGE WE GO THROUGH IN LIFE HAS ITS TIME OF FULFILLMENT & RECESSION, AS DO ALL THINGS. EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY STAGE HAS ITS OWN PARTICULAR BEAUTY & I WANT YOU TO APPRECIATE THAT. HENCE AS YOU GO ABOUT YOUR LIFE ON A DAILY BASIS, I WANT YOU TO CARRY THESE THOUGHTS WITH SO THAT YOU CAN BE @ YOUR BEST @ ALL TIMES.
Sunday, 13 July 2008
Saturday, 12 July 2008
Friday, 11 July 2008
Thursday, 10 July 2008
Wednesday, 9 July 2008
Tuesday, 8 July 2008
- TEETH - The number one blowjob mistake: letting your teeth hit the cock. This CANNOT be stressed enough. Ask any guy and he'll tell you again and again: nothing is worse than a blowjob that is ALL TEETH. In fact, most men won't admit it, but their idea of a perfect blowjob would be getting sucked off by someone with removable dentures. Teeth can nick and scrape the sensitive skin of the penis. Open your mouth wide enough that they stay away from his cock, or suck your lips in over them to cushion the rough edges. If he's wearing a condom during the blowjob this may provide a slight buffer, but don't count on it.
- GOING TOO FAST – Some guys enjoy a quickie, but unless they're in a hurry to get back to work or back to their mate, most men like to savor the experience of getting their cock sucked. So don't rush them. It's not a race to see how fast you can get him to spurt. Take your time and make it last. Concentrate on different parts of his penis, or his balls, and then go back to basic sucking and stroking. At the end of a luxuriant BJ session, he'll blow a much larger, more satisfying load.
- SUCKING TOO HARD – Hovering him like a dust buster may seem like a good idea in theory, but there's a wrong way to do it. Don't fasten your mouth around the head of his cock and suck like you're trying to get a triple-thick milkshake though a straw. Guys' dickheads are the most sensitive part of the penis, and uncut guys are even more sensitive there. The proper technique to hover is to take more of his cock into your mouth and apply moderate suction.
- CRUSHING THE NUTS – Don't grab the balls and squeeze like you're trying to crack walnuts. This is a move you want to pull on a would-be rapist, not a guy you're trying to get off. It's painful. Many guys like to have their sack rubbed, licked, or gently tugged during a bj. You can even take a break from sucking his cock to take one or both of his balls into your mouth. But don't yank on the family jewels, and don't put them in a vise grip.
- BARFING & GAGGING – Throwing up while giving a bj is definitely a turn-off, although sometimes this happens to the most well-intentioned cocksuckers. What happens is they get overenthusiastic, take the cock too deep or hard into their throat, the gag reflex gets triggered, and then it's all over. Or once the cum starts hitting the back of her throat, things start flowing the wrong way. Don't try to deep throat on your first BJ. Everyone will be sorry. Practice first on dildos to get your gag-reflex under control. Or just work up to it at your own speed.
- REMAINING IMMOBILE – Putting his cock in your mouth and then doing nothing is as bad as overdoing it. Most guys don't want to feel like they're face-fucking a cadaver. You need to work it at least a little. A total lack of effort or enthusiasm on your part is a real buzz kill. If you don't know what to do with your tongue, at least bob your head. After a while, he may want to take a more active role and have you relax while he fucks your mouth, but you need to give him a little encouragement to get him aroused.
- ENOUGH PRESSURE – Wimpy blowjobs are no fun. Be firm and suck him like you mean it. Lapping his dick lightly will just make him feel teased. Licking his dick like it's a lollipop or popsicle may be fun to get warmed up, but then you have to get down to business. Use a firm (but not too firm) hand to work the shaft of his cock, while you get your mouth all over his knob and caress it with your tongue.
- SPITTING – Most guys want you to swallow and think that a BJ really isn't complete until his load goes down your throat. The only exception is if he gets off more on spraying it on your face or somewhere else. If you really don't want to swallow, this can be an acceptable compromise. Symbolically, swallowing shows that you accept him and his manly essence fully. Although I can't endorse unprotected bodily fluid exchange in any form, if you happen to be giving an unprotected blowjob (i.e., without a condom) and you end up with his juice in your mouth, do not retch his cum into a wastebasket in front of him. If you really feel you must spit, do it discreetly into a towel or tissue.
- DRY MOUTH – A good BJ involves a lot of saliva. Don't be afraid to get a little sloppy and drool on his cock. If your mouth is dry from nervousness or whatever, there will be too much friction and stickiness to give good head. If your mouth is dry, drink some water and rinse. Try to work up a good mouthful of spit before you go down. Suck on a hard candy to get your juice flowing, or suck on an Altoid to give him a mentholated BJ.
- STRANGLEHOLD – Don't put his cock in a death grip. It's fine to wrap a hand around the shaft, but don't clench and for god's sake, watch the nails. Just hold it enough to keep it from flopping around and shuck his pole with your hand while you work him with your mouth. His dick shouldn't have a handprint on in when you're done.
Monday, 7 July 2008
WHAT ARE THE RULES? Some say that they are simple things that should be followed in order to have a F&CK BUDDY:
- Both parties must have respect for each other; it’s that simple. No respect, no sex.
- Both parties must understand the situation. You both need to know that what you have is purely physical and nothing more will ever develop out of it. If you aren’t sure or feel the other person may not be certain about the situation then you must ask or explain the circumstances.
- There should be a mutual physical/sexual chemistry or attraction to one another. If you can’t bear to look at the person sober or they’re not wild enough for you in bed then there is no point in continuing a relationship based on sex with them.
- You must both be able to communicate what you want, when you want it, and how you want it. Remember, you are both spending time together in order to get what you want, which is satisfaction. If they aren’t sure or aren’t doing something the way you like it, then tell them how it’s done before giving up completely.
- You should have few or no mutual friends. This one is very important to me. It can become a very sticky situation if you know a lot of the same people and may have to be careful in making sure that nothing is revealed to them. You shouldn’t have to worry about being found out. It’s okay to have mutual friends in a friends-with-benefits situation, but not with a fuck buddy.
- Only call/text/email/message/whatever with the intention of fucking or arranging your next fuck. They need to understand that that is all there is between the two of you and that there’s nothing more to say.
- This leads me to my next rule, which is: share little about your life or day except the basics. Sure, you can make some small talk asking how their day was, finding out what they do for a living or whatever, but don’t go on a rant about what a bad day you had at work, how your friend is getting married soon, blah blah blah. You are there to have sex, not to find a confidante or establish an emotional connection.
- This next rule is not set in stone by any means but I find it is best if you see each other no more than once every other week. Seeing each other any more than that tends to lead to one person developing feelings for the other or the sex becoming less exciting. Although there have been a couple of occasions where it has worked seeing somebody once or twice a week, it has never lasted for very long.
- NEVER under any circumstances should you spend the night at their place or let them sleepover. I don’t care how tired you/they are or how drunk, call yourself (or them) a cab and get out of there. Once the sex is over, their purpose has been met and there is no need for them to stick around. Why would you want to experience the morning after with your fuck buddy whom I’ve already said you shouldn’t be sharing much personal information with? If you want morning-after sex then tell them you’ll call in the morning and kick them out.
- Always use protection. If you aren’t exclusively fucking each other (that is, you haven’t agreed that you won’t fuck anybody else) then you should be using condoms. Why risking getting an STD from whomever else they may or may not be sleeping with?
- Play out your fantasies and try new things! With a fuck buddy, you don’t have to worry about what they think or how they may react to your strange requests. If they don’t want to try something out then either deal with it or try with someone else. The point of a fuck buddy is satisfaction, so don’t be afraid to get creative! Another rule, which not everyone may agree with, is to not discuss anything about your fuck buddy and your escapades with your friends. Personally, I feel that a fuck buddy is a private thing and they should only be thought about when you desire sex, not while you are having coffee with your friends discussing their boyfriends or girlfriends. Although I think it is okay to share a bit of a really juicy or extremely gratifying night once in awhile!
- Finally, one of the most important yet often ignored rules: once someone develops feelings for the other or another person, STOP! If you don’t end it quickly, things will get very complicated and messy, I guarantee it.
- …But do NOT forget how to dispose of your F&CK BUDDY when your done with them.
CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHY IS THAT AS GAY MEN WE HESITATE TO PUT OUR PARTNERS ON THE SAME PEDESTAL EMOTIONALLY AS WE DO SEXUALLY? SOUND BACKWARDS? NOT REALLY! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF HE INSISTED THAT DURING SEX YOU STAY ON ONE SIDE OF THE ROOM BEHING A SCREEN, WHILE HE STAYS IN THE OPPOSITE CORNER? THERE WOULD BE NO TOUCHING ALLOWED, SURE THE CONVERSATION COULD BE INTERESTING; BUT THE ENCOUNTER WOULD NOT BE ENJOYABLE. SO WHY DO WE FIND ACCEPTABLE FOR US TO HAVE A F&CK BUDDY? AREN’T WE MERELY SITTING IN OUR OWN ISOLATED EMOTIONAL CORNER? I AM NO EXPERT, BUT I HAD MY FAIR SHARE OF F&CK BUDDIES & I KNOW THE PLACE ALL TOO WELL…IF ONLY WE COULD FIND THE ONE THAT WOULD MAKE US WANT TO STAY WITH HIM…
Sunday, 6 July 2008
Saturday, 5 July 2008
SCENARIO ONE: THE POSSESSIVE CONTROLLING GAY MAN - I believe that many GAY men are possessive and controlling and that they are either in denial or will justify their actions. Nonetheless, a GAY man who is possessive is someone who feels that you belong to him. The STRANGE thing for is that there are a lot of us who will treat a guy who you have just known for a short period of time like he's your property, believing that even in dating, each of you would not be checking out other guys, flirting with other guys, or talking to any other guys. Since you consider him yours for the time being, he cannot give his number or take a number from another dude until you both are no longer interested in each other. If you catch him talking to someone else, he is considered to be cheating on you, even though you are not in a relationship. Now the handwriting is on the wall as to what kind of relationship this would look like, and you enter into a relationship anyway. There was this guy that asked me if his man was controlling and I told him to ask him and he did. @ first he tried to deny it by saying that he knows how the game is played and how relationships don’t last for us, so he takes it upon himself to takes control for the benefit of them…BULLSHIT! WTF ARE WE DOING TO OURSELVES? BE IT THE CONFIDENT, RESOURCEFUL & KNOWLEDGEABLE ABOUT LIFE TO KNOW WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU MAN; OR THE MAN THAT THINKS THAT YOU CAN’T FOCUS ON EACH OTHER IF YOU ARE ALLOWING OTHER MEN TO APPROACH YOU WHILE YOU ARE SEEING EACH OTHER, THIS MAN IS NOT GOOD FOR YOU OR THE LOVE THAT YOU ARE SEEKING.
SCENARIO TWO: THE “PERFECT” GAY MAN – Height AND weight proportionate, nice dick, 7.5-9”, between 5' 10" and 6' 4", light-skinned with beautiful bedroom eyes, business man with his own luxury car AND apt/house…Other GAY men wish they were him, your friends want to be with you and you feel blessed that you have him…BUT HOW PERFECT IS THIS MAN? Yes he maybe a GOD among men (WHICH ISN’T THAT ARE TO ACHIEVE), but he is real? I ask this because this because my opinion is that more than likely this man that would cheat on you left, right AND center. Moreover, if he is SO great; WHY WOULD WANT SOMEONE LIKE YOU? I don't mean that in a negative way. I'm saying, that you have merely BOXED yourself in a typical way of thinking when it comes to a man, and it seems that it is more about him being certain things than him just begin with you. HOW ABOUT LOOKING INWARD? I feel that most of us put ourselves in a place where this type of man will save AND LOVE us when that is so far from the truth. My thinking is that maybe we have missed out OR possibly over-looked the ONE who is REALLY meant for us. For he may not be the right height, or has the right look, or may be on public transportation; but @ least he may ACTUALLY LOVE YOU! DO YOU THINK THIS MAN IS THE ONE THAT IS GOING TO LOVE YOU OR ARE YOU HOPING THAT HE HAS YOU ON HIS LIST? THE “PERFECT MAN IS ONLY PERFECT BECAUSE HE COMPLETES YOU & NOT MAKES YOU WHO YOU ARE. HOW CAN A RELATIONSHIP LIKE THAT REALLY LAST? MORE IMPORTANTLY DO YOU WANT IT TO LAST? SHOULDN’T LOVE PLAY THE MAJOR ROLE RATHER THAN IT BEING ABOUT HIS PEFECTION?
SCENARIO THREE: THE UNFAITHFUL GAY MAN - Is being faithful something to strive for, however, something that may never be achieved? Sure, many of us want to be in a faithful relationship, but how realistic is that concept? The sad thing for us is that in a GAY relationship one OR both partners will step out on the other. Moreover, we stay despite knowing that the man we are with is giving himself to another. Why is that, why do WE allow this to become OUR fate? It is SO obvious that the TRUST barrier is gone AND there is VERY little that one can do to bring it back. Nevertheless, we pay with OUR souls by staying with a man that cheats and blame it on LOVE. How many of you have been with your current partner for some time AND found out that he has cheated on you? I get that is it HARD to just pick and leave, but I feel that is the best thing to do, even if it is for a short period of time. WE need to give ourselves to process what has taken place AND figure out if he is someone that WE want OR need to be with. The thing about relationship is that sometimes things brew in the head of one person without communicating the REAL issues to their other half. Then before you know it, you AND he becomes you, him AND the other man. Why put oneself through this drama? It's clear that you're yesterday's news AND he is today's jerk. Like Tina said, WHAT’S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT? Especially when you're left with a mere shell of your manhood; and who wants that? You don't have to ride this roller coaster with him and his behavior more than likely won’t change no matter how much you cater to him OR try and make it all better. It is time to MINIMIZE the damage AND LOVE yourself. Believe in your own self-worth AND leave him to deal with what he has created. WE ALL DESERVE TRUE LOVE & COMMITMENT, THE CHOICE IS OUR TO MAKE. LOVE DESERVES LOYALITY & WE CANNOT ACCEPT ANYTHING OTHER THAN THIS. I KNOW THAT THE HARD PART IS LEAVING & NOT TURNING BACK; BUT THE JOURNERY BECOMES MUCH EASIER WHEN YOU FALL OUT OF LOVE WITH THE FEAR OF BEING ALONE & START LOVING YOURSELF INSTEAD.
I FEEL THAT IT IS TIME THAT TO CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS & ASK OURSELVES SOME SERIOUS QUESTIONS. IT SEEMS THAT WE DON’T KNOW HOW TO LOVE A GAY MAN OR EVEN OURSELVES. THEREFORE, I WONDER HOW WERE WE TAUGHT TO LOVE? WHAT DO WE TEACH OTHER? HOW DO WE FIX THINGS? MUCH IS MADE ABOUT THE ADVERSE CONDITIONS IN WHICH WE GAY MEN LIVE; WE ARE SUBJECTED TO HOSTILE ENVIRONMENTS, HAVE BEEN SERIALLY DEMONIZED & STRIPPED OF OUR IDENTITIES. THE GAY MALE CONSCIOUSNESS IS FRAUGHT WITH COMPLEXITIES THAT STEM FROM ONGOING MISTREATMENT & SELF-NEGLECT COUPLED WITH DENIAL. YET, WE TRY TO LOVE IN SPITE, & PERHAPS BECAUSE, OF ALL THE CHALLENGES WE FACE. OUR EXPERIENCES SHOULD BE A RICH LAYER UPON WHICH WE BUILD A BETTER LIFE FOR OURSELVES.