On Sunday's True Blood, we found out that Sam's redneck beatdown at Merlotte's last week was not the first time he had anger-management issues. Lafayette and Jesus bonded further... over drugs. Arlene turns to Holly for advice about her predicament. Jessica is the belle of the Bon Temps ball. And Bill, Eric and Sookie need to come up with a plan, before Russell brings his crazy to town.
Sam's new penchant for rage freaks out most of the staff. Holly offers him a natural remedy that will lower his testosterone and keep his rage in check. It's a thing she does, she says, because she's a Wiccan. (Or so she says!) Tommy, on the other hand, who has never met a bad judgment he didn't like, is proud of his big brother. Not helping, Tommy!
You see, our friend Sam has a bit of a checkered past. It seems he used to be a thief. In a flashback to 2003, we see a heist gone wrong when he was double-crossed by his lady accomplice and her lover. Sam shape-shifts into the beagle to sneak up on them and reclaim his booty, but something goes awry, and he ends up shooting them both dead. Bad Sam!
I love her appearances on television. That is all.
Speaking of appearances on television, guess who's back?
JASON and TARA
After Jason shotgun-stakes Franklin, he has a little PTSD moment where he remembers the deaths of both Eggs and Eddie the kindly suburban vampire. But Tara is all business, and snaps him out of it so they can erase the evidence of Franklin's staking.
It's a good thing too, because Bill needs him to watch over Sookie during the daylight hours. Bill tells him he might have to shoot a werewolf right between the eyes. Oh jeez, please let's not bring back that bullet-hole hallucination of his.
Jason tells Sookie that he killed Eggs, and she wants him to tell Tara the truth.
Tara is kind of anti-vampire now, and can you blame her, after everything's she's been through? This isn't good news for Bill, since Sookie's best friend no longer trusts him, and as we'll see, Bill needs all the help he can get.
Tara thanks Jason for saving his life, not aware that he's burdened with the guilt of killing Eggs. The conversation has a tender sibling quality to it — that is, until she kisses him. As if this moment couldn't be any more wrong, Jason decides to tell her that he killed Eggs. She bolts from the house, from which Sookie has also taken leave while Jason and Tara were sucking face.
Hey, guess what, y'all? There's a panther in the hizzy, and it's Crystal! At least with that glossy black coat, he won't be able to hallucinate a bullet hole in her forehead.
Arlene finally tells Terry that Rene is the daddy, and even though she wants to give it up because she thinks it's going to be evil, Terry says he'll raise the baby as his own. Aw, Terry. But Arlene has other plans, so she approaches Holly about getting rid of it, perhaps using one of her Wiccan remedies, methinks.
OMG, Russell picks up a hustler (Michael Steger, 90210's Navid), Tony, who looks oddly tall and strikingly like the dearly departed Talbot. After their presumed tryst, Russell goes totally bonkers, speaking to Tony as if he's Talbot. Russell uses the opportunity to say his goodbyes to his longtime lover. Then he stakes Tony/Talbot.
Lafayette has an idea to save Crystal's redneck daddy: vampire blood. It works, and he's cured. His miraculous recovery intrigues Jesus, and he wants to try V with Lafayette. So they do.
Remember when Jason and Amy took V out in the meadow and everything was like a Disney film? Well, this is different. Lala exposits that doing V with someone deepens the connection between the pair. Now there's been a lot of talk swirling about how Lafayette has some hidden powers. We've also seen Jesus' suspicious tattoo. Fittingly, their trip together shows what I'm going to call their supernatural family tree.
Things start off pretty much like Jason and Amy's trip. They hallucinate a shimmying Virgin Mary. ("You go, girl," Lala tells her.)
But then things get significant. First they meet Jesus' grandmother, who was some sort of sorceress. We see her help a local woman with fertility problems by placing an egg yolk on her bellybutton.
Then they meet Lala's great-great-great grandmother, Mae, a conjurer, as she scatters powder on the ground. During this scene, I got a headache because Lala and Jesus switched voices at least twice.
Then it's off to meet Jesus' grandfather, a scary-looking dude who practiced the black arts, and apparently he had big plans for his grandson. And then — whoosh! — they're back to reality.
But what does it all mean? Are Lala and Jesus destined to move to Vermont and open a holistic remedies shop together? Any (serious) theories?
JESSICA and HOYT
Uh-oh, Tommy has a fang fetish, and Jessica's are giving rise to all sorts of things.
Summer wants to call Hoyt "Bear." She also wants to have sex with him, if that's what it takes to close up the distance between them.
But her plan backfires, because by the hour's end, Hoyt is at Merlotte's, trying to win back Jessica. "If you knew half the sh-- I've done, it's unimaginable, and I actually like it," says the baby vamp who is enjoying finding her footing. He asks her to just tell him that she doesn't love him, and he'll leave her alone. She remains silent, but her expression remains conflicted. Hoyt storms off in a huff.
Outside the bar, snot-nosed Tommy takes the opportunity to berate Hoyt for his failure. The normally docile Hoyt slugs him square in the jaw, and the audience cheers. Tommy shifts into the pit bull and attacks Hoyt. Jessica hears the ruckus and zips outside, picks up Tommy and hurls him into the woods. Hoyt is a bloody mess, so Jessica opens a vein and offers her wrist to him. "I love you too," she says. "Now drink my blood." So he does.
SOOKIE, BILL and ERIC
"I'm a fairy? How f---ing lame!" Sookie says.
Bill relates his trip to Fairyland, and here's the upshot: The fairies believe that they were wiped out of existence by vampires. You see, vampires found fairy blood to be delectable and intoxicating. Sookie wants to know if that's why he's attracted to her. He says it isn't, and to prove it, he says he'll never feed off her again.
Eric, meanwhile, knows he is directly in Russell's sights, so he's drawing up a will, and Yvetta is a little miffed that she's been passed over for Pam, Eric's progeny, who will inherit everything.
Eric also knows that Sookie is a fairy, and further, that drinking fairy blood gives a vampire SPF protection from the sun. He also deduces that that's why Sophie-Anne sent Bill to find Sookie in the first place, and perhaps that's why she'll be next on crazy Russell's to-do list.
Sookie has another sex dream about Eric. "You know you have feelings for me," Dream Eric says. "Ew," she says. Dream Eric also tells her that she shouldn't trust Bill.
Sookie goes to see Eric at Fangtasia, and he's all doom and gloom. He says he doesn't want to die without kissing her first. So he does. "OK, I get it, I'm irresistible and intoxicating," she says, breaking off the passionate embrace. She asks him why she shouldn't trust Bill, but before he can answer, Pam barges in. "Blah-blah-vampire emergency blah," she says drily.
Now here's an interesting development. This season has marked a deepening of the parent-child bond between Eric and Pam in surprisingly emotional ways. So it's Pam who has to tell the difficult truth: If Eric were to give Sookie to Russell, he might be able to save his own life. Eric doesn't want to do this, of course, and it creates a rift between him and his progeny. She tells him at least figure out how she can use Sookie.
I'm nervous now, guys, because it appears that they might be setting up our precious Pam for some real evil-doing.
Eric appears to have heard her message too, because he grabs Sookie from the Fangtasia office and brings her down to the basement and shackles her. Ugh, remember when Lafayette was down there? ("Bucket!")
Only two episodes to go! What did you think of "I Smell a Rat"? How will Eric, Bill and Sookie defeat Russell? What connection do Lafayette and Jesus share? Will Tara ever forgive Jason? What's the next step for Hoyt and Jessica? And are things looking as ominous for Arlene and Pam as I think they are?