After every breakup, you spend time, TOO much time pouring over every detail, trying to figure out what you did wrong this time. Why do I keep picking the wrong men, yada, yada yada…? Never realizing that maybe, just maybe he wasn't right for you. But is it surprising that you blame yourself? Don’t we as society live in a culture of single blaming and shaming when a relationship doesn't work out?
It almost seem as if the world tends to forget that being coupled is NOT an achievement and being newly singled isn't a failure. Being in a relationship is a life choice, born of opportunity. It is two people being in the right place at the right time and wanting the same things. It’s an opportunity that’s seized. While a solid relationship can make you grow as a person, the mere fact that you’re coupled does not make you a better person.
I say to my single friends all the time that they didn't do anything wrong. There’s nothing wrong with them, but they need to take an assessment of what happened, find out what patterns they may be repeating and stop internalize any wrongness about being single. Stop blaming yourself.